Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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