mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
