Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
