I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
