So drunk, too bad you don't want this
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
