My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
