I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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