If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
