i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
