Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Randomize
