No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
