Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Drunk is not a location!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
