She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
