pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize