I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize