I wanna bring you to show and tell
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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