I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So much rum. So many feels.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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