everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
