We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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