I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
