Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
