dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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