I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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