The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
