fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
