Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize