East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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