They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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