Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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