How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
