so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you didnt know i had herpes?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
