Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
