I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
