you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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