Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
