i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
