dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
