i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
