Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
