handjob tips. give me some.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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