This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize
