I accidentally had phone sex last night
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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