just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She told me I should be a condom model.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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