Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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