we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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