you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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