Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize