I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
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I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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