Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
