xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
