you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
