Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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