"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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