He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize