i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
