who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
