Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so let's talk penis.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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