ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
