In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
