Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
