He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
