I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
