he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
