He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
