my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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